“Where do you want it, A-J? Bread sauce on your chestnuts, Santa’s YumNut in your mouth, or brandy cream on your plum pudding?”Read more "EuphOff Guest Post: Holiday In…"
‘They call me Back Door Santa
I make my runs about the break of day (oh, ho, ho)
I make all the little girls happy
While the boys are out to play’
– Clarence Carter, Back Door Santa
‘Arthur might be a king, but he can’t make you come’
– Anita Clenney, Fountain Of Secrets
‘No dragon can resist the fascination of riddling talk and of wasting time trying to understand it.’ - J.R.R. Tolkien, The Hobbit, or There and Back AgainRead more "EuphOff 2020: The Man Dragon Edition"
‘Luciano stalked forward like a panther eyeing his meal. She realised that the meat served on the plate with roast potatoes and carrots was in fact his love sausage covered with a dark glaze and a garnish of rosemary.’Read more "EuphOff Guest Post: A Most Special Dinner…"
“Just trying seducing him”, Patty said, “and bacon-vincing!”Read more "EuphOff Guest Post: The Backyard Division…"
‘Always on call for her, he responds to her plight. He jumps into his vehicle and speeds through the town…’Read more "EuphOff Guest Post: Siren…"
‘Find something you’re passionate about and keep tremendously interested in it.’ - Julia ChildRead more "EuphOff 2019: MasterShag…"
‘A highbrow is the kind of person who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso.’
– A.P. Herbert, Uncommon Law: Being 66 Misleading Cases
‘Oh doctor, I’m in trouble Well, goodness gracious me! For every time a certain man Is standing next to me Mmm? A flush comes to my face And my pulse begins to race’ – Goodness Gracious Me ‘Doctor, I’m having terrible palpitations! My heart is all a-flutter and it pounds in my chest like I […]Read more "EuphOff 2018: Doctor, doctor…"