‘Everything I learned I learned from the movies.’
– Audrey Hepburn
In the past few months, I have been busier than I had ever imagined BUT maternity leave has proven to be a great time to watch a lot of movies! I generally need very little excuse to put on a film in the background of whatever I’m doing and have definitely enjoyed the chance to rewatch so many of my favourites!
It was during a rewatch of sex, lies and videotape that I had the idea for a new project: a blog about my favourite movies and the sex positive themes within them.
And so I’ve started it! Here is a reblog of the first post on my new site sexlovevideo.theotherlivvy.com where I will be sharing a post about a different movie every Sunday. I already have a list of over 30 films that I want to watch again and analyse and write about and I am VERY excited about it!
In 2012, I decided to write a list of every movie I’d watched. By the end of January, the list was 43 films long and I decided to set myself a challenge: could I watch 365 films in a year? The answer is yes, I could. I could watch 371 in fact!
I love watching movies. As a child, I’d watch the same film over and over, sometimes every day, until I could recite every word or make up my own lines between the dialogue to write myself in as a character. As a teenager, I’d seek out every film that anyone ever recommended so that I could drink in every moment, every experience. I’d watch action movies, rom coms, historical fiction, science fiction…everything. Once I left home, going to the cinema was my escape, and I have never lost my love of it, going as often as I can and seeking out cinema experiences – outdoor screenings, immersive cinema showings, movie marathons, double bills and singalongs. I also own over 400 DVDs, many now stored in the cellar as technology has already surpassed them but I just can’t bring myself to throw them away. I love love love watching movies!
I also love sex. I love sex! But I only really discovered how much and in how many hot and horny ways in the last five years or so. I hadn’t experienced enough to know what I wanted. Strangely considering how much I love movies, porn doesn’t do anything for me as my fantasies always needed more of a story. I imagined elaborate scenarios where the physical act of sex was only a very small part and I would get off on the build up, the personal interactions; the plot. Really, I needed a whole movie, not porn!
So movies with good sex scenes were everything to me. Plots about sex or sexuality and hot characters in hot situations would inspire fantasies that I couldn’t dream up on my own. They were also an education of sorts. Sex education is notoriously rubbish and when I was at school did not include anything about pleasure. In lieu of actual experience, I used movies to answer questions or demonstrate what sex should be like.
But is that a reasonable thing to do? And which are the good movies to watch? Which are the hot hot mainstream movies and what can they teach us about sex? Are there movies that teach good lessons about love and relationships?
I’ve been thinking a lot about this. I know which movies I like and which turn me on. I know which movies I think have interesting themes or handle difficult topics well (or badly!). And I kind of fancied watching them all again!
This new blog will, therefore, be a catalogue of my favourite movies that discuss sex; talking about why I like them (or don’t like them) and what I learned (or didn’t learn) from them. They may be on my list because they’re hot or because they’re fascinating. They may be included even if they’re rubbish but start the right conversations. They may be there because they had a profound and lasting effect on me, or just because they’re a favourite!
I’m also giving each movie a score out of five – my ‘sex score!’ I was tempted to just give a personal rating but I have a tendency to score everything very highly and I’m not sure how useful a list of movies scoring 4 or 5 out of 5 would be! I expect the scores will still be relatively high, especially to start with, as I will only really be choosing films that I like and each score is essentially based on my opinion, but at least there’s a process!
The movie could score a point for a positive answer for each of these five areas:
•Cast fuckability: simply, do I want to have sex with the cast?
•Sex positive themes: does the movie actually like sex or is it just a plot point or weapon? Does it show sex work or sex in a positive way or is it judgemental?
•Source of fantasy material: not all movies that include sex, um, inspire me or provide building material for fantasies. But if there’s an idea or even just an image or a flash of magic that I can’t forget, it gets a mark!
•Bechdel test: although passing this test does not guarantee that it is a feminist movie, it is a low enough bar that I think it’s worth noting if it fails! So, are there two named female characters? Who talk to each other? About something other than a man?
•Rewatchable: I watch movies a lot, and over and over again. So would I watch this one again if I saw it on TV?
I am so excited about watching all of these delicious wonderful hot movies again!!
So which mainstream movies do you love? Which turn you on? I’d love to hear about them…
New posts will be published on Sunday evenings and the first will be Steven Soderbergh’s 1989 masterpiece, sex lies and videotape.