As she ran through the dark, all she felt was regret…regret that she had had to leave, regret that she had not acted, regret that she had gone at all. What did she think would happen? She had had to leave early, cursing the shift the following day. Missing the last train was not an option when she had to be functional and alert at 8am…if she’d missed it, she knew from past experience that a ‘fuck it, it’s too late anyway’ attitude would take over and she’d never leave. She knew she would be congratulating her resolve when her alarm sounded tomorrow but, right now, at this moment, it felt like the stupidest decision she had ever made.
He’d been there. He was a friend of a friend who she’d first met a month ago and who had filled her thoughts ever since. He was the reason she’d come out in the first place when the sensible option would have been to stay at home but she had to know if that look in his eyes was just for her. As it was, she didn’t even end up speaking to him. She had had to settle for a smile and a promise to be ‘right back’ as he’d thrust a drink into her hand while being pulled away to speak to someone else.
The train pulled in just as she reached the platform and she clambered onboard. Although the crowd was boisterous, there wasn’t the same volume of people that usually filled the last trains and she was able to get a pair of seats to herself. She settled down, wishing the journey away so that she could get home already.
But her mind wasn’t ready to give up. Images of him smiling kept flashing before her. She remembered his touch and the look in his eyes when he’d passed her the drink…fuck, she should have stayed! The more she tried to block him out, to limit her regret, the more her fantasies ran out of her control. Almost before she knew it, she began to wonder what he’d taste like, what his hands would feel like against her skin, if he had the throw-down that his eyes had promised her.
She shivered in anticipation and glanced around, wondering if anyone had seen but everyone was focused on themselves…no one was looking at her. No one would notice her. Could she…could she get away with it? Here? Surrounded by all these people? The aching thump in the pit of her stomach urged her forwards and, pulling her handbag into her lap as a shield and with a shift in her seat to disguise the movement, she slipped her hand into her underwear. A gasp caught in her throat as she brushed her swollen clit and slid her finger lower. She began to move in slow circles, finding a rhythm to match the soft vibrations of the train.
Suddenly, and with a jarring stop, the train pulled into a platform. She froze…an icy sweat running down her back at the very real prospect of getting caught. Just as she feared, more and more people crowded onto the train and, soon, she was trapped, hand stuck down her knickers, as the aisle and empty seat next to her were filled with people on their way home. There was nothing that she could do. There wasn’t even room to escape to the bathroom and the urgent fluttering within her insisted that she’d gone too far to stop now. She flexed the tip of her index finger, hoping that small movements would not betray her actions. The proximity of the strangers and fear of exposure had heightened her arousal and even that minimal movement sent shockwaves through her. She turned to look out of the window, hiding her flushed face and dilating pupils. Continuing these small movements, she teased herself, brushing her clit again and again in faster and faster strokes. Never had she been so aware of her breathing, fighting to stay focused enough to keep it even and regular when her body was crying out for her to gasp and moan. Never had keeping still been such a challenge. She wanted to move…she needed to rock her hips or curl her toes or anything. She could feel her orgasm growing as she pressed harder and faster, cramp developing in the small muscles of her hand as she kept her arm completely rigid. It built as a heat that expanded from her core, spreading out into her limbs and begging them to move, to stretch, to release the energy that was locked inside them. But she couldn’t…she could do nothing that might expose her….
Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, when her desperate muscles began to twitch and risked breaking through her resolve to stay secret, she came…without a sound, without moving an inch…sharp tingles burst over her body and she saw stars in front of her eyes as the power of her orgasm ricocheted through her arms and legs. Her body struggled to contain the energy that she usually released in moans and spasms that arched her back and stretched her legs…she could only hold herself still while it rushed through, trapped and focused in its captivity. She realised that she had stopped breathing and quickly restarted the previous controlled and measures breaths, praying that there was no tremor in her inhalation to reveal her.
As her heart slowed and her mind cleared, she braved breaking the stillness and, in smooth, unhurried movements, she slid her hand free of her clothes. She crossed her legs and pressed her thighs together, each movement sending shivers through her as her body remembered what she had done. She smiled to herself as, soon enough, the train pulled into the station and she got up to leave. Stepping through the crowd, she wondered if any of them suspected…and what they’d think if they knew…