“But what on earth’s the point? I mean nobody – ” I corrected myself, “very few people can see them…”
Sally gave me her most fatuous grin:
I know darling…but it makes me feel so marvellously sensual…”
The Berlin novels, Christopher Isherwood
In the last few months, I have read a couple of blogs about the benefits of fancy lingerie – is it to please the watcher or the wearer? Opinions seem to be divided so I thought I would add my voice to the debate…
I wear stockings for me. I have never worn stockings for anyone else but me. I have actually worn stockings during the day and changed out of them before a date as I was worried that they would be too much. My sexual confidence is not yet high enough to flaunt complicated underwear…particularly as I haven’t yet worked out what happens to them when it gets beyond the ‘look, how pretty’ stage. Do you take everything off? Or manoeuvre just the knickers off? Push them aside? Wear knickers on top?? There are just too many questions!
I find wearing them hugely empowering. I love waking up and making the choice to do something that makes me feel wonderful. I love knowing quite how inappropriate this choice is and how it would change what others think of me to find out. I love how I can never forget that I’m wearing them…pretty underwear just feels like any other underwear but the subtle pull of the suspenders across my thigh as I walk and the gentle roughness of the lacy top mean I am constantly reminded. I love being the woman who wears stockings, rather than the girl who gets nervous and doubts herself.
I’ve only once been caught – having after work drinks with some friends and my crush spots the lace trim peeking out below my skirt. The look on his face almost made it worth showing them off but I was still sad that my secret had been discovered. I feared he thought I had worn them to tempt him with my sexuality when in fact they just gave me confidence. Him knowing just made me shy and awkward again…exposed somehow.
Luckily, that did not stop me enjoying the thrill and luxury of wearing stockings. It’s the best way to turn around a potentially bad day, to brighten a tough week. And one day I’ll find a man who I’ll let see me in my stockings…then he’ll have seen all of me in a way that even being naked wouldn’t reveal. I can’t wait!